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| Three women shopping together. Source: Hercampus.com |
Ella could charm her way out of any situation, good or bad.
Kate could calm anyone down or make anyone immediately happy.
As for Lee, she could enter and leave a room without ever being seen or heard, just due to her quiet nature.
It was Christmas Eve, and the girls were at the mall doing last minute shopping for Christmas — not for others, but for themselves. The more presents, the merrier was their thinking. The girls weren't about giving; they were all about receiving. As they left one store, they passed by the Santa Claus doing pictures with the children. Suddenly, there were screams.
A mother shouted out, "He's taken my baby!"
The sisters looked around to see what was going on. Ella turned just far enough to her left to see a quick flash of a person in a hoodie running around the corner past the pretzel shop.
The sisters looked at each other as if to ask, "Should we help?"
Ella didn't really feel like helping.
Kate thought the mother might benefit from her gift of being able to calm anyone down or make anyone immediately happy, but she still didn't see what she would get out of it.
Lee didn't see what she had to offer with her gift of entering and leaving a room unsuspected. The vote was two to one to help after a mild staring contest among the three of them. The three rich sisters decided to use their powers for good.
Kate went over to the mother to console her. She asked the mother what had happened. As the mother began to shriek while retelling the story, Kate placed her hands on the mother's shoulders. The mother immediately stopped shrieking. She sat down and started from the beginning of the story in a calm but concerned manner.
Lee and Ella were brave to go after the kidnapper. Lee was able to catch up to the kidnapper without being heard. After making sure the kidnapper had no weapons, she cornered him so that Ella could catch up. Lee's job was done.
Then Ella finally caught up. She used her gift to sweet talk the kidnapper into setting the child down for a moment. When he set the child down, Lee quietly picked the child up and walked away. By that time, the mall cops were nearing, and so Ella continued talking to the kidnapper to keep him distracted.
Meanwhile, Lee returned the child to the mother. The mother was, of course, ecstatic. The mother asked how old the sisters were. They said they were sixteen. The mother couldn't believe they were so young and so generous to help a mother in need.
The mother thanked them profusely, and Santa Claus even wanted a picture with them.
The sisters from then on found that using their powers to help others was much more fulfilling then using them to manipulate people to get what they wanted.
Author's Note:
This story is loosely based off Filipino Tales: Three Brothers of Fortune. The three brothers each have an item to help them in their time of need. Each of the brothers comes together during a bad time to help save the day. They unite by using all their gifts as a solution. Just like the brothers, I wrote a story about three sisters who have innate gifts who use them to help others instead of manipulate people to get what they want out of life. I based this story loosely off the movie Mean Girls, where the girls are simply involved with themselves and like to shop a lot. Except, in my story, the girls use their powers for good. But I wanted to write a story with a good ending and also a lesson to takeaway. In addition, I based this story loosely off Paul Blart: Mall Cop, since I've always enjoyed watching that funny movie. Lastly, I based the story during Christmastime, because not only is that my favorite holiday, but it is the holiday that I think most people associate good acts with. Christmastime is a time where people come together and help each other, and I think it's the most beautiful time of the year.
Bibliography:
Filipino Tales: Three Brothers of Fortune. This story is part of the Filipino Tales unit. Story source: Filipino Popular Tales by Dean S. Fansler (1921).
I really liked this story! I haven't read the original story but you did a really good job of explaining it and I like how you used it to inspire a very different story. I also liked the underlying moral of the story in that it is better to help people than stand idle. This story almost seems like it would be a great beginning to a series of stories. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWow, I was surprised at how much detail you were able to squeeze into the story. The little things like the pretzel shop and Lee checking for weapons really gave your story depth. I also like how you adapted the original story, enough to be reminiscent of it, yet original enough to not feel like a re-telling of the same story.
ReplyDeleteMia, I think you did a wonderful job with your story. I think it's clear that you have a background in writing because I think your storytelling is really nice. You were able to squeeze sooooo much information and detail into the story. I haven't read the original story but I think that your author's note does a good job explaining the story and why your story is relevant. I think that you did a really good job with this story, Mia!
ReplyDeletegrammatical error
ReplyDeleteThe sisters looked at each other as if to ask, "She we help?"
==> "Should we help?"
There's some places commas can be added to help the story flow better.
Other than that the story sounds great! and I am glad that by the sisters helping it changed their lives for the better.
Great Story ad I cannot wait to read more!
It was a neat change that the items from the original story are instead talents that are intrinsic to the characters. Their talents were all used in practical ways that make a lot of sense, and this really feels like a whole new story compared to the original. Them learning to use their talents to help people instead of themselves at the end is a nice touch.
ReplyDeleteHey Mia!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this story. I definitely picked up on the loose interpretation of Mean Girls and Paul Blart: Mall Cop pretty quickly, so I was hooked from the beginning. I liked how you decided to make the gifts that the sisters had be cohesive enough that they could all work together to help someone in a high stress situation. I thought is was really creative how you came up with the whole plot of the sisters being at the mall shopping for themselves and then they end up using their “gifts” to help someone who could not offer them anything in return. I’m really glad you decided to have the sisters decide to help the lady and also that they had a change of heart after they helped her, so that they decided they wanted to start helping others. Overall, I’m really impressed with they way you put this story together. Great job!
This was a really fun story to read. I think it was cool that each girl had some sort of “super power” that they were able to use to get the stolen baby back to her mother. I think you did a good job at adapting your source material and creating a new and unique story. Overall, I think your story was well written.
ReplyDeleteHi Mia,
ReplyDeleteThis was an enjoyable story to read and I particularly enjoyed the humorous nature that you used to write the narrative. As another commentator has already mentioned, I too noticed the influence that you had from the movies Mean Girls and Paul Blart: Mall cop. This connection to movies I have seen in the past had my attention hooked from the beginning. I enjoyed the family atmosphere that is created here by the sisters working with one another to help each in these difficult situations. The setting of young women in a mall environment is a good selection; believable place for women to be spending their free time, while there is also a large variety of things that can possibly occur at a mall. I came to appreciate the kindness the sisters showed by using their “gifts” to help someone who is in need that can provide them nothing in return for their kindness.
Hey again Mia!
ReplyDeleteI feel like I am a frequent flyer to your posts! I love your writing style and so I immediately chose your portfolio to comment on. I read about the three sisters and first off, this was such an easy and enjoyable read. You made it to the points pretty quickly which I appreciated as I do not like too much fluff as I think it distracts from the story! In a twisted way I was kind of hoping the sisters would come off as a bit more spoiled and full of themselves, although obviously it is good that they helped the poor mother! I had not read the original so I had no clue how it would end. I also really like how you brought this story into modern day as that is how I like to write my stories as well! Overall, great job!
Mia, very interesting blurb on your portfolio for this story. I haven’t seen anyone else set up the story that much in their blurbs. It was a little long, but good! Even though the girls were rich I found myself feeling sorry for them that their parents never spent time with them. I was a little unsure at first if the sisters were aware of their powers or not. What an interesting turn of events, though! With the way the characters are set up in the beginning of the story I never would have guessed that they would have helped anyone in need! Overall, I loved your story! It was well written and very interesting to read. I love that the mall experience made them decide to use their powers for good from then on! I’d be interested to read another story about an adventure the girls go on using their powers to help others.
ReplyDeleteI like how you changed up the original story and made it your own. The way you changed the boys into girls and changed their actions to the complete opposite was very refreshing to read. Your author's note made me laugh when you mentioned mall cop. I thought that was a very creative idea basing your story off of the movie. Overall, I thought it turned out great and it was a very enjoyable read!
ReplyDeleteI love how you have used so many different elements to come up with this story! The combinations of written art and the modern movies has made for a very interesting story. I have never seen Paul Blart's Mall Cop, but I can definitely see the combination of Mean Girls into your story because of the three rich sisters that are very self absorbed. Except in your story, they learn a lesson! Which is so important. I haven't read your source story, but from what you've described, I love the changes that you decided to make. I think this is very creative and you have put a lot of thought into it! If I could change it, I would probably add more facts about why these girls are so self absorbed as well as more general information about them! You could also elaborate on how they have used their powers only for themselves in the past and how they interact with each other.
ReplyDelete